To control yourself means, “The virtue of one who masters his desires and passions, especially his sensual appetites.”[1] However, don’t confuse the word sensual with implying only that of a sexual nature. The use the word sensual is referring to all five of the senses and encompasses a broad scope of things that you need to control in your life.
A lot is preached about addiction to drugs and alcohol, but what about addictions to food? Can you control your appetite? As I write this, I will be sensitive in my choice of words, but you must know that I have battled with addiction to food. I’m currently making every effort to lose weight by cutting back and eating healthier. It is tough, but I must admit that I wasn’t controlling myself when it came to food. It was not just physical, but spiritual with me as well. I have lost about ten pounds over the last two months and plan to continue losing.
So what about situations beyond your control? I’m glad you asked. In a nutshell, you should not react to what you cannot control. Doing so will only frustrate you and possibly make the situation worse. For example, getting upset at the rain is something you cannot control, and reacting to it negatively proves immaturity. You cannot control the rain, so don’t react to it. Now the harder analogies…
You cannot control the hurts that happen to you either. Controlling yourself and not reacting negatively to them will showcase the power of the Holy Ghost in and through you. It may also help to quickly defuse the situation and bring about a positive outcome.
Losing your temper is not the way to get rid of it. If more people were as self-controlled at home as they were while fishing, there would be a lot more peace in their homes. Practice self control in all manners of living.
Consider the long term effects of your choices. For example, if you choose to overeat, the food may be good while you’re eating it, but the long term effect is not just being overweight, but also indigestion, poor health, and so on. Controlling yourself takes discipline; balance always does. It’s easy to practice extremes, but to truly control oneself requires discipline.
Some say they can give up their unhealthy habits but do not. If you cannot or will not, then you aren’t controlling yourself: the habit is controlling you. Being under the influence of something or someone else is not just addiction; its slavery! Take control of your life and give yourself a fresh start.
David should have been leading the army on the battlefield, but rather chose to remain in his palace. One morning he noticed Bathsheba and desired to have her for himself. He made the choice to commit adultery with her, and then tried to cover up his sin by sending for Uriah (her husband) to come home for a leave of absence. Uriah slept outside the city walls realizing his place was on the battlefield with his men, not on leave. When David heard of this, he sent Uriah back to the battlefield with a death sentence. David’s sin was exposed by Prophet Nathan and then David made a wise choice – to repent! The damage had been done, and there were consequences to pay, however, God did forgive David and he became a man after God’s own heart.[2] If David would have chosen to control himself, we would not read of his awful sins.
In Acts 24:25 the word temperance follows “righteousness,” which represents God’s claims, self-control being man’s response thereto.[3] Your daily lifestyle reflects whether or not you bear fruit.
In 2 Peter 1:6, the word temperance follows “knowledge,” suggesting that what is learned requires to be put into practice.[4] Thus proving that knowledge isn’t power: applied knowledge is! What good is your education if you do not plan on using it? If you’ve earned your doctorate in oncology, but work at Wendy’s™ what good is your education? You may have superior knowledge of the Bible, but if you do not control yourself, what good is your knowledge?
Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.[5] In our fast-paced society, we are often too quick to judge before we have all the facts. Upon passing judgment, we feel stupid to learn that there is more to the story. You need to realize that a person of great understanding is patient, but a short temper is the height of stupidity.[6]
Instead of being quick to pass judgment, be swift to hear the whole matter first. Then even when speaking, present your judgment slowly. And if anger is necessary, be even slower in getting angry.[7]
When I became a pastor May 31, 2000, I did not know what I was in for. I had many preconceived ideas of what it meant to pastor, but I was in for a roller coaster ride that would surprise me at many turns. During those early years, I reacted to everything, thinking this was the best policy. However, it nearly ruined the church and me. Through God’s grace, and the loving wisdom of my elders, I began to learn the art of self control when dealing with people. I began to listen to the whole story from all sides before giving advice or offering direction. I became proactive instead of reactive. And by controlling myself, I wasn’t burning out anymore.
Regardless of your situation, you too can learn to control yourself. Remember at the beginning of the chapter, I said, “you should not react to what you cannot control?”[8] Think about situations that are beyond your control. Are you reactive or proactive? Are you able to control yourself? Learn from your mistakes and bear fruit.
[1] Thayer’s Greek Lexicon (#1466)
[2] 2 Samuel 11-12, Psalm 51, and Acts 13:22
[3] Vine’s Expository Dictionary (Temperance)
[4] Ibid
[5] Proverbs 16:32 (English Standard Version)
[6] Proverbs 14:29 (God’s Word Translation)
[7] James 1:19
[8] Page 1
